


Don't Poke the Kitten

by RubyMagnolia



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Inflation, Teasing, magical mishap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-17 14:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4669475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyMagnolia/pseuds/RubyMagnolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally titled "Anders the Round."</p><p>Merrill's had enough of being bullied. Anders takes the momentary wrath and finds himself temporarily swelling into a human ball.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/15195.html?thread=57565019#t57565019">Kinkmeme Fill</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Contrary to popular belief, Merrill didn't cry often, and she didn't like crying. She couldn't even remember what it was that Anders had said to her. But she had snapped and slammed her staff into the ground, startling Hawke and blasting Anders with a spell that seemed to tumble from her lips before she formulated exactly what she was saying.

"I don't see why it's any of your business! Stop sticking your big shemlen nose into what I do," Merrill recalled saying, then she snapped out the spell.

Hawke, bless her, had come running over to Merrill and held the tiny elf as she cried. Even Hawke, a woman who preferred to hit her problems with a sword until they went away, had a better sense of what blood magic entailed than Anders, an actual mage. Anders gave Hawke a sulky look.

"Don't give me that," said Hawke. "You've been picking on her all afternoon."

"Well you didn't say anything to stop me," said Anders.

Merrill wiped at her eyes, sniffling.

"She did," she said. "You ignored her."

At that moment, Isabela bounded over from a nearby cove where she had been looting an old chest. She patted Anders on the belly as she went past him.

"So you had snacks without me?" asked Isabela.

"No, why?" said Hawke.

Merrill let out a small gasp. The elvish words were coming back to her. She looked to Anders and bit her lip. Anders glowered back at her.

Well, she was sorry for the spell, but not sorry that it was Anders.

"I may have cursed Anders," said Merrill. "But only a little curse. It'll wear off in a day or so. I hope."

"What was it?" asked Anders.

He seemed to be holding his stomach as if he were unwell.

"It's rather tricky to translate into the Common Tongue," said Merrill.

"Was it blood magic?"

"No," said Merrill hotly, and her staff sparked from her upset. "And now you can simply see for yourself what it was because you're being ridiculous." 

What it was quickly became apparent. When Anders shouted in surprise, Hawke spun around.

Anders' belly had swollen up, cutting into the belts. He pressed on it, panicking, and then he was swelling further.

It wasn't only his belly that was blowing up. Anders' ass and chest had joined in, turning him more spherical. He managed to waddle over to Merrill and Hawke, Isabela making lewd comments about how one could finally get a good grip on Anders if he were having sex.

"Undo it," he hissed.

"I can't. It's a curse. That's the point," said Merrill. "Hawke, we should make a camp. Anders will be useless in half an hour."

Merrill dashed ahead before Hawke could reply, looking for a secluded campsite.

•

Anders paced as best he could back and forth near his tent. After the initial inflation, where he had literally doubled in size, it had slowed. It didn't make getting to the campsite any easier, perched on a hill to see anyone attempting to sneak up the path, but hidden by an outcrop of rocks.

Isabela "helped" by standing behind him and pushing him up when his body threatened to roll back down again. Her hands sank into his flesh, shifting whatever it was filling him around. His belly bulged a few times, then settled back when Isabela removed her hands.

His skin had turned rubbery. Whatever Merrill had done had shut Justice up as well (although Anders felt a pang of self-pity to think that maybe Justice was quiet because he was on Merrill's side in this instance). His clothes had taken on a similar quality, stretching with him.

"Stop pacing, you'll make it quicker," said Merrill. "And I'm sorry. It slipped out. I shouldn't have cursed you, but you sort of deserve it."

"I deserved being humiliated in front of everyone else?" snapped Anders.

He groaned, the inflating sensation returning, and to his alarm, his limbs went stiff, legs filling his trousers and arms stuck in an outwards position.

"Well, you humiliate Kitten all of the time," said Isabela.

"Which reminds me to stop asking you along if Merrill is also coming," said Hawke. "I'm sick of everyone being nasty to one another."

She was cooking something over the fire. Isabela was sorting through loot, and Merrill sat next to her, trying to tell what were the real gems and what was paste.

Typical. Of course they would stand against him. Hawke and Isabela adored Merrill. Anders wanted to stomp off, but his legs only managed a feeble wiggle.

His ass pushed out further, overbalancing him, and down he went, landing on his behind. Well, at least he couldn't see them now, not over his stomach.

His flesh pushed upwards, and Anders flapped one hand as watched his belly become wider than he was tall, the magic putting on an extra effort now. He could feel his legs getting fatter and fatter, until his feet were only sticking out. His arms quickly followed, and Anders had the impression that he probably looked like a giant balloon of some sort, with only his head, feet, and hands free.

Suddenly, his world spun, and Merrill propped him up against his too small tent.

"Would you like dinner?" she asked.

"No," said Anders.

"Suit yourself," said Merrill.

"Is this as big as I'll get?"

Merrill looked him over.

"Yes," she said, and went to rejoin the others.

Now that he could see them, Anders felt sorry for himself and much more embarrassed than before. Although his clothes had stretched with him, he could feel the breeze on his belly, meaning a good deal of it was exposed. It wasn't like any magic he'd come across before. It was probably elvhen.

Anders eventually willed himself to sleep, and when he woke up in the morning, he found that he was slightly less rotund. By lunchtime, when Merrill had stayed behind to look after Anders, while Hawke and Isabela went off to look for the cave of smugglers, he was able to walk.

Merrill rolled him out of the sun, gave him water and food, and was very quiet. She was writing in a notebook, and didn't say anything outside of enquiring if Anders needed to be moved, or wanted water.

By the time Hawke and Isabela returned, Anders was almost back to his usual size, with the exception of a particularly large belly that pressed against his clothes. It was only his stomach which remained rubbery.

"Well, what have we learnt?" asked Hawke.

"Don't curse when upset," said Merrill. "I really am sorry, Anders."

Anders sighed. It had been his own fault.

"No. I deserved it. My comments were unwarranted, and I apologise," he said.

As he spoke, the last of his belly shrank, and he prodded it. At last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick sequel to Anders' part. Fenris is also a bit of a prat to Merrill.

Fenris had inflated almost instantly. Merrill supposed it was to do with the lyrium tattoos. This time, she had absolutely intended the curse to happen.

"Damnable mage," Fenris hissed.

He had doubled in size before he made it to her door, and couldn't even fit through it sideways by the time he reached for the handle.

"Hawke will have to ask Aveline to go with her instead," said Merrill curtly.

She undid his armour and put it on her table, ignoring the angry cat noises Fenris was making. It was rather fun watching him like this, although she knew better than to make it worse with snide remarks. She'd gotten quite good at snide remarks, according to Varric and Isabela.

It didn't stop her from smiling as Fenris rolled backwards, somehow managing to land in the only empty corner of her house, propped upright. His feet were kicking about, toes not quite touching the ground.

"You did this to Anders," said Fenris.

"And I've done it to you, since you were also being rude," said Merrill. "The only difference is that it's not an inconvenient place to do so."

Fenris was thoroughly round, now. He didn't stop growing once his hands and feet were surrounded by flesh, though. Merrill made sure that he kept growing, head the only thing not being inflated.

There was a flustered, red look to Fenris' face. He was quickly approaching double the size that Anders had been. Merrill was tempted to let him go further but there wasn't enough space in her house for that.

"Not so quick to speak now," said Merrill.

She went over, and poked at Fenris' belly. It gave easily under her hands, a rubbery sensation to his clothes and flesh. She laughed, and prodded him again.

His whole body quivered and jiggled.

"Will you stop that?" asked Fenris.

"Will you stop insulting me for being a mage?" asked Merrill.

"Fine."

To Merrill, that didn't sound very sincere. Well, if Fenris wasn't going to be sincere, then he could wait it out.

"I'll see you in a few hours," said Merrill.

•

The business that Hawke needed a warrior for was over in an hour. They went to the tavern to drink, and then Merrill went back to check on Fenris.

"I brought you some wine. For when you're not all inflatey," said Merrill. "Although I suppose I can stand on a chair and tip it into your mouth."

"Please," Fenris gritted out.

Finding a clean cup, Merrill gave Fenris some of the wine.

"Hawke asked for you. I told her you had misbehaved and gotten yourself somewhat larger in a matter of minutes."

He sipped the wine, beginning to feel drowsy. Despite doing nearly nothing all day, Fenris was tired. At least Merrill wasn't cruel. She gave him food and water as well.

When he woke up, he was still round. Fenris felt that Merrill had made her point.

He wriggled against the wall.

"Merrill," he called out. "Merrill, I'm sorry."

She emerged from her bedroom.

"I believe you," said Merrill.

Picking up her staff, she poked Fenris with it. One zap later, and he was shrinking, since she knew the exact words of the curse.

As Merrill ushered the somewhat meek warrior out of her house, she couldn't help but smile at the plumper ass and thighs that filled Fenris' leggings.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone up for round two with Fenris? Another Anon suggested Fenris.


End file.
